Can you change your spouse 4 the better in small baby steps?

This is question is for long time married couples. ThanksCan you change your spouse 4 the better in small baby steps?
Maybe. There are two key conditions for you to have a chance.


1. They really love you and want to make you happy and will make the effort OR


2. They want YOU to change in some ways also, and you both commit and BOTH improve the marriageCan you change your spouse 4 the better in small baby steps?
You actually cannot change someone else. You can only change yourself. Sometimes, though, your spouse sees the change in you and decides to change him/herself in response.





This is especially true if our behavior has continued on a certain path for a long time. For example, if a spouse continually nags about something or puts the other person down, over time the other person can get used to this and start to ignore it. If, suddenly, the spouse stops nagging and compliments the other person for something, the other person notices the change and may look for something good to do in return.





Sometimes, if change is desired, it takes the person wanting the change to contribute something first to get things started. This is analogous to needing to put a lit match to paper to start a fire or putting a cup of water in an old-time water pump to get it going. Often in life, we have to give some of what we want before we get more of it in return.





Keep working on it with love and optimism. It's worth it.
It depends on what you mean by change. Can you get them to close the cupboards and take out the trash? Yeah, probably.





Can you turn them from slobs into neat freaks? From bully to gentleman? From uptight to free-spirited? Not at all. These are parts of the personality.





In short, you can change habits but not hubbies.
i have been with my husband 10 years. And that is very hard to do. I guess it depends on the person. It also depends on what you want to change.Whether its picking up his clothes or something that minor. To wanting to stop drinking or smoking or other things that are harder to do.
You can affect your spouse for the better or worse. But as for change, only one can truly change themselves and change happens from within. One has to be truly willing and acknowledge their need to change.
You cannot change somebody else; they have to want to change. If they don't want to change, it's not going to happen.
Only if he truly loves you.





Most men only truly love themselves.
They will only change , if they see the reason why they need to change...and of course they must want to change.
I don't think so. He will only change if he wants to. Good Luck on that though.