Thursday, December 31, 2009

Do you think living off your spouse takes away your freedom?

Suppose you make no money at all.





How do you feel about living off the other person? Before you answer typically about women living off of men, think about it the other way - the man is living off the woman.





PS. No kids involvedDo you think living off your spouse takes away your freedom?
Kids involved or not if its your wife/husband/life partner and he/she doesn't mind supporting you and the 2 of you have and understanding %26amp; in agreement then what's the big deal? If you have a partner this supportive it would be wise to further education or some other career goals.Do you think living off your spouse takes away your freedom?
I know a couple like this distantly through friends.I say distantly because I know them just not personally just at mutual friends get together.But all looks good to me from outside looking in.The husband does not work,no kids yet they plan to some point.The wife is Insurance Agent she works with individuals,families,and corporations.They have a pretty decent life I say,not over the top but better than most two income families I know.She sets her own schedule for client seminars,paperwork,or questions or whatever it all en-tells.She's gone from home maybe two days a week for a few hours each days to handle clients at there place of business or over lunch whatever,and other times she working from laptop or cell phone emailing,calling,faxing.The wife's stand is she has so much free time she does not want to have to wait for husband to get off work,ask for vacation time,work Holidays whatever so they agreed he will not work and this works for them.One days she works he fishes,ball with the guys whatever,but other than that they are traveling and living life.
I don't think it takes away your freedom unless your working spouse is very controlling with money. However, I do think it causes dependency and if the relationship unexpectedly ends, it can be very difficult for the person making no money to feel like they can move on and start over. It's a huge risk to have no financial resources that you can call your own if the relationship ever ended.
First off, marriage is supposed to be...... what's theirs is yours and what's yours is theirs, so you wouldn't be ';living off'; of them, they are supporting their family as well as you.


You are just not adding to the $$ pot, but you are cleaning, doing bills, cooking, running your partners errands, and anything else you are asked or know to do.....etc., etc., etc.








It is different for all families, some women make better ';bread winners'; and if your spouse can make a good house hubby, why not do what's easy and works for YOUR household, no matter what anyone thinks about it.





If it's your spouse, those are things the two of you need to figure out.
Either way, my answer is the same -- it depends on the couple and every couple is different.





Where does the first spouse's money ';come from?'; One spouse working ';like a dog'; while the other runs up credit cards is different from two little trust fund babies romping and frollicking in never never land.





Likewise, where does the second spouse's ';poverty'; come from? Is this someone slaving away at some worthy cause that makes the world a better place but realistically will not generate more than a few pennies of revenue? That's a lot different from someone flopping on the sofa all day getting stoned and watching video games.





Every couple has a different ';recipe'; for what each partner ';brings to the table.';
My major question is WHY are you living off your spouse. Are you injured, in school, pregnant, or have some other reason why it is not beneficial for you to working?





If you are an able bodied person with no children in the home and just want to lay around and play video games or watch tv then your spouse should control all of the money b/c obviously you are irresponsible.





As long as you can work you should (volunteer work included). There is no reason for anyone to live off of any one else. So to all those lazy people I say grow up and get a job.
I have kids...


But when I quit working to take care of them. I didn't realize how dependent I would become on my husband.


I now depend on him to give me every little dime.


If I want to wake up and go to the store, I need to 1st let him know that I need money, wait for him to give it to me (we are cash only) then go.


Usually nothing ever gets done on my terms.


It is the #1 and only thing I hate about it.


I like having total independence.
For one.I dont live off my spouse. Just because I dont make any money and we dont have children. I work hard around the house, doing the things my husband doesnt have the time to do.





When I did have a job and he didnt for a while he did the things around the house that I didnt have time to do. He just prefers working outside the home and I prefer staying at home.





I have freedom, i have a car, i go to school, i can go shopping if i need/want to. We do tell each other if we are going to spend a lot money. and we have budget that we follow. Notice all those we's, its because we are a team no matter where the money is coming from.
it's not fair to the other person who is supporting you. I would have a serious talk and tell him that he needs to help out because it's too hard to support two people. Maybe he could do all the cleaning and the cooking while you do the money making. So one of you isn't doing more than the other
Ive always had a job since i was 17. Now almost 26 For the past year i haven't worked. It felt wrong, him working and me staying home, however we do have a 4 year old son, that i am finally about to stay home with! But i spend his money like its OURS! If i want something i buy it. i always ask if he minds and he says no. He loves being able to work and provide for the family, and still be able to go spend!
well depends on the situation.. did he have a job and is now injured and can't work so therefore you are taking care of him because you love him maybe.. or two, did he not have a job when you guys met.. or three is he just lazy... all depends on the situation...
Well, if you're a stay at home spouse, I see no problem...if you're baking bread, sloppin' the hogs, cleaning out the horse stalls, collecting eggs from the hen house,darning socks, mendin' fences,and plantin' seed...while the other spouse is off at work bringing in the other kind of bacon.
Well, I gotta say...if your ';living off'; someone and there are no kids, that's just plain lazy. Kids are the great equalizer, but no kids? Hell, you need to take care of yourself.
no kids and living off someone else.... hmmmm. I'dhave to tell my wife she has 2 choices....get a job or get to work.

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