How much help did you receive from someone other than spouse/partner withyour newborn? How long did they stay?

IT's just y husband and I withour newborn. My mom came for a week, but I felt more stressed with her here due to our relationship. I can only tolerate her in short spurts of time. Just wondering if everyone receives help with newborn or if more folks go it alone...How much help did you receive from someone other than spouse/partner withyour newborn? How long did they stay?
We didn't have anyone help, it's just easier to get settled into your own routine that wayHow much help did you receive from someone other than spouse/partner withyour newborn? How long did they stay?
My husband and I didn't get any help at all except my mother in law will take my son overnight once in awhile and give us a break which is great. Other then that we didn't have any help. We also live in a one bedroom apartment.
even with a husband and other family members giving me the occasional break... I pretty much did it alone. :( I wish my support system were better
Your parents are the usual source of support, and so is your spouse's parents. That is the nature of things, the continuation of the extended families.


DIstance is a factor and maybe that is not at all possible. If you have bad relations with your own, check out a favorite aunt or your grandparents.


Lots of people have done it alone. You may have good friends to help you out evry now and then.


Courage ! You are not alone. Take turns. Sleep as much as the baby does.
With my first daughter it was just me. With my twins, my husband and I did it all. My mother came over all the time to help and still does. They are 21 months old now and are had to handle sometimes. Their sister, who is now 17, helps out sometimes also. Nobody else volunteered to help. If you don't have family or close friends then your on your own. Good Luck.
With my first I lived at home so if I were sleeping my mom would come take the baby, but with this one I dont live with her anymore so I am thinking I am oging to do it on my own or she or one of my sisters will come drop in time to time for a couple hours to help out.
Pretty much went it alone. Which was really difficult at times but then I agree with you that it can be stressful to have someone else there. For me it was my mother in law who was stressing me out. We went to stay at the in-laws for 1 mth when my daughter was 5 mths and I felt like she would invalidate me. I'd constantly get ?'s on why I wasnt giving solids at 5 mths, or she would go against what I said if we left my daughter with her (i.e. I said I would feed her as soon as we got back so not to feed her... when we got back she says, 'oh, she didnt really want a bottle.' When I asked why she even offered as I asked her not to, she said she looked thirsty. No, she wasnt crying, but she looked thirsty. For a nursing mother this was irritating. Ok, as I write this it doesnt sound that bad, but I was always getting comments on my 'starving baby' not getting anything but breastmilk. Anywho...) Besides that month with the in-laws, our first Yr has been mostly just myself as a stay at home mom. I'm going back to work shortly and it will be my husband who is going to stay home with her while he searches for a new job.


Hopefully you are able to stay home with your little one as they are def. a LOT of work. You need to have moments of calm to yourself though (which I very much needed and didnt get) the first few months, so if you can have someone there for an afternoon here or there that would be great! A friend, your mother, your in-laws. But no week long stays!
My daughter had a baby last Friday and I've helped her out a little every day but I try to do it around her schedule. Most of the time she feeds her %26amp; then I play with her or ';watch'; her sleep while my daughter takes a nap. If there was a day that she didn't ';want'; me to come over though I would not be offended - eventually she has to ';do it on her own'; but as long as she needs my help I'm willing. Good luck!
My parents stayed for a week. Then it was just my hubby, me and our baby. I liked it better that way too. I was stressed with them here and felt like I needed to be the ';hostess'; as long as they stayed, even though they did help.





See if any neighbors or friends can help if you start getting stressed. Good luck to you!
i .....um...do not no what you are talking about
I had my in laws come while I was giving birth (to watch my older son) and they stayed for a week. (I can only take them in spurts too) So while they were at my house I was on medication so I didn't really care about them. My husband had 2 weeks off (He works 2 hours away and is only home on the weekends) and my family came after that for a week. It was wonderful to have the help.
My mother-in-law was living with us when my daughter was born. She was a lot of help!!
Alone...family is out of state and can't travel (health issues). My husband is in the military and left for 3 weeks of BNCOC on her 4 week b-day, and went back for 31 days yesterday (she's 3.5 mos old now). He also works 8-8 M-F, and 9-3 on Saturday, so, it's pretty much all me.
I was living with the father, and he helped a bit with the baby, but didn't help with meals or housework. As I was breastfeeding, he couldn't help with feeding, so that meant I was still doing most of the work. It was very tiring, but worth it. I kicked him out 11 months later and did it on my own for 3 more years before remarrying. My house wasn't big enough to have someone come and stay to help me but there was no one anyway. I couldn't have stood having my mother there but she worked so couldn't have anyway. Everyone else also worked.
My husband helped me alot. My mom help me a little with my last one but the other two she helped me a llot.
My mom came for a week for the births of my first son. We, too, have a strained relationship and even though she was a HUGE help, I was almost glad to see her leave. It meant I had to actually get busy and do the laundry and cook and all the other stuff she'd been doing, but oh well. :)





After the birth of my second son, my mom came for a week again. He was a c-section baby, so I REALLY needed help. My husband was home with us for the first week, then my mom came for a week, then my sister stayed for about two weeks. After that, I was well/able to do for myself, so it was just me, my husband and our kids.
We did it alone. There were times when I would have appreciated some help so I could sleep.
My mom came over every day for a few hours the first week after we came home from the hospital. It was kind of nice. She did dishes and cooked dinner while I got some sleep. My mom %26amp; I have a decent relationship although there have been times when it has been VERY strained. I have to say she really stepped up to the plate that time.
My Dad and Mom came up to NorCal to help me and my hubby the first two weeks. It was brutal. Especially having twins. They helped feed and change their diapers.





Talk about NO SLEEP! Or sanity...that has all but gone out the window. Well, at least the first 6 to 7 months...





I am getting better now. My parents came up to help us out ever 2 to 3 months and they were such and still are blessings to us.





On the other hand, my inlaws who live right near me did not lift a finger to help me. I do harbor some resentment because I really wanted their help. I guess they really wanted me to ASK them. Well, I never call anyone anymore and it was just not going to happen.





Also, in Apri, I was diagnosed with sympoms of MS and they again did not help me it was my Dad and Mom to the rescue...





Hope this has some...
I had my mother in law out for three weeks. but my daughter was in the NICU for two of those weeks. it was very help full having her there. but once my baby came home from the hospital. things became a bit tense in the house. before the last week was over I was very happy that we would be able to do it on our own then. but then the realization hit in and it was a bit intimidating. while she was out we knew that she knew what she was doing so the baby would be fine. but we were both new parents. so when she left it was hard to figure out what we would do! We did it though and if i ever need any help my mom only lives 35 Min's away. so i would say yeah it helped.
i got help from my mother who stayed one month - she was a great help - don't know how we would have managed without her (of course we would have managed somehow, but it would have been really stressful)
We received about the same amount of help (for us, it was husband-me, wife, and two daughters age 6 and 4) with our last one. Family had to come in from a long distance. It is more stressful to have the guest AND the newborn than the value of the help in my opinion.